Over the holidays Jon had a week off of work and so I decided now would be a good time to convert my office into the nursery. We painted and put the crib together. After 4 days we sat on the floor and looked at our hard work and then both of us just held each other and started talking about how our lives will be changing it just 3 short months. I have been dreaming about this for over 10 years and now it is happening! There are so many emotions. I keep wondering what kind of mother I will be and hoping that I will be a good mother.
Not only do we have to get emotionally ready, but also financially ready. While you have to get everything ready for baby, we also have to figure out our finances to pay for the adoption. Many don't realize that once you get a match you pay up front a quarter of adoption fees to help the birth mother with her medical expenses and provide counselling for her. This is to help with the transition and to make sure the baby is healthy. However, we could potentially be out thousands of dollars if she decides to keep the baby. It is a risk every adoptive family has to consider.
Our families have been so great to help us with the expenses of getting the baby room ready and we are so grateful! Over Christmas my sister gave us her little bassinet and as she was showing me how to put it together I just burst into tears. I have been doing this alot lately... and I am not even that big of a cryer! There are just so many emotions that comes with this process. You're not only preparing as you normally would for an arrival of a baby, but you also have to hold back your excitement because there is a chance that it won't work out. The birth mother has 3 days after giving birth to decide whether she wants to keep the baby. In a normal pregnancy, once you given birth you know you get to take the baby home. With us... it is up to someone else. Both Jon and I know the potential risks of all of this, but we keep telling ourselves that big risks get big rewards. If we get our little boy after all of this... we know every bit of this journey will be so worth it!
